Yes, that is what a moment of panic looks like on paper. Much akin to what going down a very long drop on a roller coaster looks like. Except I'm telling you that this is not a roller coaster. This is a moment of panic. And I had one of those over the last two days.
Why? Well, I listened to half of an interview with the deplorably AWESOME Neil Gaiman. I am convinced that there is no one quite as AWESOME as Neil Gaiman, nor can there be. And the sheer AWESOMENESS and brilliance of Neil Gaiman really just makes me want to throw the towel in right now, because come on. With Neil Gaiman, who needs me-writer in the world? (This is not usually me -- I'm usually very confident that the world needs me-writer in the world. But Neil Gaiman is Neil Gaiman. AWESOME, but intimidating.)
The other thing that had me going was the prospect of revision. And the fact that I have never really revised a novel. Not really. Not if you don't count that one from middle school that I outlined neatly with my co-writer before going on to NOT revise it. Yes, it's been sitting, unfinished, for about eight years now. Anyway, I'm now facing the bottomless pit of revisions, and I'm really hanging on by a thread here.
I can identify problems. Identifying problems is not the problem here. The problem (which, of course, is really an over-simplification of a LOT of problems) is that I don't even know where to start. Plotting? Characters? Setting? Whaaaaa...?
Which is why I would love it if you all could suggest books to me. Books on crafting a story, and character arcs, and creating settings. Or -- they don't have to be books, by any means. But help? Guidance? Divine intervention? I take all the above, and more.